I posted this below as a response to another blogpost a friend of mine posted a link to on facebook. Something in that blogpost at http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/disease-called-perfection.html
struck a chord with me to where the thoughts in my head just sort of vomited out. Cathartic moment, but I think some of my most honest statements I had said or written since I was a child.


Great post....funny how we are all after something that no one has ever achieved. No one feels they have achieved perfection because we keep letting other people or media define what that is for us; rather than truly defining it for ourselves. We are told that if you really want to succeed in life, follow what other successful people are doing or surround yourself with people that are achievers. Well, doing that somehow only helps you feel less adequate....go figure! Most of those achievers, although maybe seemingly be doing better in life than you (whatever that means), are likely struggling with something you don't recognize.

The cliche, the grass is not always greener...likely is not. Damn it!! All of you make is seem so f'ing green with your cool jobs and nice homes and new cars!! I will admit I do have this "perfect" disease and it is a sickening feeling. My real self is insecure, in debt, jobless, and struggles to focus on the positives in my life a lot of the time. Most of the time I succeed at magnifying those positives and feel happy with a truly amazing wife, a funny/crazy/smart/headstrong 4 year old daughter, a small rental duplex in a nice neighborhood, bills we can actually pay(although with nothing left usually), and a business idea I am excited to be pursuing every day. On the surface, like everyone does, I try and portray myself like I have it all worked out, but inside I am a fucking mess sometimes! If we can all be okay with being a fucking mess sometimes, or most of the time, or all of the time....then maybe actually, genuinely connecting with your "friends" would not be so difficult. I mean when is the last time you told your friends what was really going on in your lives....all of it, not just the "things are good" stuff, but the "man I am exhausted" stuff or the "wow it sucks not being able to afford health insurance...not to mention not being able to take your family on a vacation to anywhere!" stuff....or how about the "I wish my life was simply better all around" stuff. Do that and see the look on their faces....you might as well stand up in the middle of a dinner party and take off your pants and underwear and say "hey, look at this.....this is what I have going on". Pretty much going to be the same look on people's faces more than likely, but the people that would then stand up and do the same thing are the one's I really want to talk to because I know they want to be more "real" too. Thank you Angela for posting this....a lot of us may have it all worked out and are truly, genuinely happy(kudos to you), but a lot of us don't...me for one!